Yesterday in Quotes

[jadelyntate]

Me: (covers head with pillow, mumbling into it) Of course they have to jackhammer the old staircase to rubble at 8am. My luck is just awesome like that.

(walking into Wal-Mart)
Katie: Can you buy me Subway?
Me: No.

(in the games at Wal-Mart)
Me: I should wait to see if I'm still WoW addicted before buying the 60 day subscription. (sighs) I hate having to be responsible.

Katie: You're getting Subway?
Me: ...6 inch only.
Katie: Thank you!

Me: Let's stop at Payless, I have to get shoes. (Katie starts to smile) Me shoes. You no shoes.

Katie: (at Subway) You're getting a foot long?
Me: (sighs; to Subway Guy) Two footlongs please.
Katie: Thank you!

(at Payless)
Katie: They're having a 1/2 off sale!
Me: ... (sighs) $20 maximum.
Katie: You're the bestest sister!
Me: (mumbles) More like the most pushover sister ever.
(Payless worker bee snickers)

Me: We have different shoe styles.
Katie: Yeah, cause I'm a girl.
Me: What am I, a duck?
Katie: ...you did not just quote Princess Diaries at me! That's sad.
Me: And yet, you were the one who recognized the quote.

(playing WoW)
Me: Stop setting me on fire! The fire is not my friend!

Me: Damnit, I died again!
Bree: Beg pardon?
Me: (looks up, blinking) Where'd you come from?
Bree: The door was open. Thought I'd make sure you were okay.
Me: (blinks) I'm fine. (looks at computer screen) I died, but I'm okay. I'll just come back as a ghostie and find my corpse and I'll be all better.
Bree: (looks at computer screen) I see.
Me: Really?
Bree: No.
Me: It's World of Warcraft.
Bree: That explains so much. (She leaves)
Me: (to self) I think I was just insulted.

Me: (looks at clock; signs) Time to go see how badly I bombed my math test.

Me: (looking at progress report)
Prof: Something wrong?
Me: Besides the fact I haven't gotten a progress report since middle school?
Prof: (amused) Besides that.
Me: I think you mixed me up with someone else. There is no way I got a B on that exam.
Guy behind me: Ditto.
Prof: (snickers and moves on)

Me: (to Prof) You have a calculator, please stop playing with mine.
(Prof sheepishly hands it back)

Woman in the back: You notice how the only ones who stayed to get help on the problems are the women?
Me: That's cause we're just awesome like that.
Prof: I cannot dispute this. Women are typically my best students. (pauses) Don't tell the guys I said that. I don't want them to revoke my guy card.
Woman in front: (mumbling) If you ever had it to begin with.
Prof: (amused as the women all snicker) Touche.

(sitting in front of computer back at apartment)
Me: Now, lets see if todays math homework is headache inducing. (looks at first problem) Yup. Should have bought Ibuprofen.

Comments

[silvercaladan]

The rambling about the test is often heard within my classes. Look at it this way: you didn't do well enough to get a B, you did so much better on average than the rest of the class that you _deserve_ a B.

Math profs grade on a curve. The ones who got the most right get an A, and so on. If you got a B and you think you failed, that means that everyone else knew absolutely jack shit and probably all got Ds. :D